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Nearly 60% of Americans feel like they hide or downplay something about themselves at work, leaving them feeling “emotionally exhausted,” according to a 2023 survey from Deloitte and New York University.
But other trailblazers have helped make it easier to be authentic at work. Ruth Jacks, head of Corporate Banking Division at Wells Fargo, shared her story on Yahoo Finance’s Living Not So Fabulously podcast.
“There were times when I have to admit I was uncomfortable,” Jacks said of the experience (watch the video above or listen below), “but it was necessary.”
Before working for Wells Fargo, Jacks began his career in engineering, though he found himself hiding his LGBTQ identity from his predominantly white co-workers. Despite growing up with two mothers, she admitted that she is still reluctant to leave her job.
“I can be incognito, like I can go and be in a stealth mode, where I can choose to share who I am and who I am or not,” Jacks said. “Not all of us have that choice.”
He went on to say: “I was upset because I was living a life that was a lie. All I could think was, ‘What will they think of me when they find out I wasn’t telling the truth?’ … I was more concerned with the integrity of my integrity than my style.”
It was only when her sister died that she decided she no longer wanted to hide. He explained that he initially outsourced to three people at work before opening up to more colleagues.
He said: “When he wasn’t there, I said I’m not going to be in a situation where someone believes they can’t talk to me. “So if there was mean to be an open book so that no one else felt like they were the only one… then that’s what I was going to be.”
One of the key things that Jacks advocated during his interview with David and John Auten-Schneider on the podcast was to surround himself with a good community, that can take the difficult steps – like from work – easy.
“I think it’s really important who you surround yourself with,” Jacks shared. “The people who are your friends, your colleagues that you meet and spend time with – it’s very important that you have a supportive and positive and solid environment.”
Although his early experiences after sharing his truth with his colleagues made it easier to be him, Jacks still believed that he was “really scared.” Not every employee will feel the ability to get out to their coworkers, but that’s where one’s community can make all the difference.
“There are too many options to drive and make money so you can sit with a disrespectful boss or whatever it is,” Jacks said. “I think you have to be smart about the decisions you make, that’s why having a network around you that can help you more is important, but I think we all have choice.”
Jacks said: “I have to admit, I’m not always comfortable coming out and being proud. “But I’m comfortable just being myself, that’s part of who I am.”
Every Wednesday, immerse yourself in real-life stories from the LGBTQ community with podcast hosts David and John Auten-Schneider. You can find other features from us video center or watch your own popular streaming service.
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